"Mama"

I find myself once again with me heart so broken. It literally aches with sorrow, grief and pain. It’s all too familiar. A feeling I fight against. Loosing yet another mom, my third mom. This time it’s my “tica mama.”

She was amazing. She loved me and cared for me with a love that was so selfless. She would have done anything for me at the drop of a hat. She made the best tortillas and the best rice. I could eat the rice just by itself, it was so good. She worried more about DeLynn and I than herself. She would have preferred others to eat than herself.

My little dog Snickers would go straight to the kitchen to see what kind of goodies she would give her for that day. 

The biggest thing we had in common was love for our sweet Dyan. She worried about him until the end. She told me to take care of Dylan and Don Samuel in his od age. She loved and protected Dylan as a mom and a grandma should. She called our family her family.

She loved to sing while cooking in the kitchen, especially her hymns and corritos. She was an amazing cook. She “invented” foods like no other mixing leftovers together.

She loved going to church. If the church wasn’t happy enough she didn’t like it.

She had three children but adopted a multitude of others who call her “mama” including Dylan. She was “mama” to many of our students and staff.  

She was a very strong woman. She delivered babies in the country where there was no doctor. She hid her children in the mountains feeding her children cherries during the war for months.

She was a woman of faith. She was healed from cancer. She loved her heavenly Father and obeyed him as much as she could.

She served our ministry for 10+ years. She did it with all the energy, love and passion she had within her.

But now, like I told Dylan, she is with Jesus flying with the angels.

Hasta luego, Dona Margoth, mi mama linda. 

The Circle of Life and Death

Death is never easy.  Death often causes us to pound our fist in anguish and weep bitterly … at times we say, “It was a blessing, the suffering has ended.” … Perhaps we know death is imminent, even so, our human nature wants to hold onto hope … A sudden death asks more questions than it finds answers … In reality, One could feel like a helpless child being tossed around through the waters of death, holding onto hope one moment and drowning in despair the next … Death is never easy. 

Heredia Cemetery 

This week we found ourselves walking through the Circle of Life and Death with one of our El Nido Mamas.  Belky learned early on in her pregnancy that there were problems with the way her baby was forming and growing. Ultrasounds revealed her baby’s abdomen had a hole and its abdominal contents were forming outside.  Dare she hold onto hope that surgery could be performed immediately after birth to put these back inside? She then learned one of her baby’s legs wasn’t growing.  Belky came to El Nido with her soul in anguish.  She wanted to hold onto hope however the reality of life raising a disabled child was overwhelming. We prayed for hope and believed God for healing.  As she poured out her heart to God through a journal entry she cried desperately for healing on the wee one in her womb.  “She deserves a chance to run and jump, to experience a normal life with her siblings, please God, she doesn’t deserve this, give her that chance! Regardless how this baby looks, I love her from the depths of my heart and only want the best for her.”

Today … Heaven has received this sweet, precious 4 pound Angel … Amy Danisha is running and jumping, laughing in the arms of Jesus, free from a life of suffering on this earth. Today, as we mourned the loss of her life here on this earth, my soul cries for Belky who longs to hold her sweet babe in her arms. We find comfort and healing as we cry in each other’s arms, I know healing comes through these tears. We share this deep seeded peace that one day we will celebrate with her in Eternity … Please pray for Belky and Julio as they walk through the pain of this circle of life … Pray they feel the sweet presence of Jesus in the sleepless nights … Pray for her empty arms to cling tightly to her Savior … Pray for her soul to find peace and healing through the tears.

Amy Danishia 

Together we find comfort in the precious words from Psalm 139:13-16 …

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

A Window Into Heaven

Today I had the privilege of looking through a window into Heaven ... Imagine with me if you dare, let your spirits soar to the heights of Heavenly Hosts ... Do you feel your feet dancing the dance of celebration with the Angels? ... Tip your chin up, face the Son, let His eyes of love, the sweetest most caring eyes imaginable, envelope you ... 

"Katia" came to El Nido for the first time today at the recommendation of a friend.  She had a sweet smile, an adorable 5 year old daughter by her side and a 7 week old babe in her womb.  She is 31 years old and described herself as friendly and popular with her friends.  She had a quiet confidence in the way she thought and spoke, however this confidence could not mask the heavy burden she was carrying.  We welcomed her into El Nido, the Nest, where she will hopefully find safety, life, the love of Jesus and freedom to speak from the depths of her heart.  

The process of El Nido was explained, she seemed content and willing to participate and her intake was complete.  Even though she did not have a relationship with God she allowed us to pray for her to close our time together.  "How can we pray for you?"  Through tear stained eyes she poured out the burdens of her heart and the toxic situation she is living in ... The father of her baby is entrapped in the endless cycle of drug addiction ... Thus opened the floodgates of Heaven!  Our spiritual eyes were opened to see the heavy burden she was baring ... "Katia, Father God beckons us, 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest ... my yoke is easy and my burden is light.' ... Katia, do you want Him to help you carry this burden and help you find rest in this situation?" ... 

In the mere seconds that passed, my spirit was soaring to the heights of Heaven while my physical heart felt so heavy for her.  Then, overwhelmed by His perfect peace, I saw Father looking at her with the most tender eyes of love and holding her close. Through healing tears she shook her head and said, "Si" ... And thus the privilege to view this window into Heaven, to share the celebration and dance as all of Heaven whooped for joy!  Not only was she carrying new life, but today, Katia was becoming a new life!  

God is so faithful ... spurring us on when the process seems routine ... a new life waiting to birth ... 

Written by Jen Hoover (volunteer at El Nido)